"THE FIGHT AGAINST "NORMAL"

CONVICTED TO GLORY?
Whether or not the e-mail I received was about me or not (I know it is), it has definitely made a profound impact on me. I feel convicted "as my title suggests" to do something great, like I am going to be a part of something that has a very profound impact on the world. Yet my struggle is not against the idea, my struggle is against the world of "normal" For the last few decades, many of us have grown up believing that we are going to be the next great athlete, politician, or whatever and be rich and famous. Of course one's life should be based on God's will and whatever he says should guide you.

Many people aren't Christians and while they feel convicted to do something about their dreams, they often lose focus, compromise, and never realize their dream. So it is obvious, then, that human nature (or Satan, whichever one it is), actually opposes the idea of doing something incredible, especially in God's name or Christ's name. This also is my struggle. There is a part of me that wants to be normal, like everyone else, have the same dreams and such, but I know I am different.

I always have been and I know that. Hearing the voice of God is my biggest fear, because a) what He says is often difficult to do and b) because it always puts me out of my comfort zone.

The other thing I always want is confirmation that it really is God talking. In a world that demands proof and evidence it is difficult, especially as one in the faculty of science, to take anything right away as truth and fact because it becomes natural as a scientist to question everything and believe nothing is certain.

Probably my most pressing question is, "What exactly do you want me to do God?" I have no clue as to what God truly wants to do. This undoubtedly has to do with me not wanting to hear from God on account that what He says will be difficult. I know what I want to do, and that is finish my time at the Medical School and join the military for 4 years so I can pay off School, then become a missionary doctor in Eastern Africa, and return back to Canada after an unknown number of years and go into federal politics. It all sounds good, but is it really from God? because as all of us know making plans without God will get us nowhere.

The other problem is it sounds so good that I think it is from God, but it may not be. One last problem is that I don't know what God wants me to do right now. I am in Waterloo University, going to classes, writing tests, and the most pressing question is will I be able to relax? I know leisure is from God (What is a Feast?), but is there something I should be doing for God when I am not doing school work? And what exactly is it that I should do?

I know for one thing that I want to be able to be in the company of fellow Christians, but I find it difficult at this late of a date (I'm going back to Calgary in about two months) and without transportation to really want to seek out other Christians because I know I am going to be separated from them again.

That about sums it up as to where I am at. I thank you both for your time and for the knowledge and wisdom you have imparted to me. I pray that I will put it to good use.

Adam